10 Things you survived without before the EU

A common refrain from those most ideologically comitted to the UK leaving the EU is, “we survived without that before 1972, we can do without it again”.

Typically these sweeping statements skip over mere inconveniences like keeping airlines flying, but let’s avoid the difficult technicalities.

Instead, let’s focus to on the positives. Here are 10 things we did without before the EU, and we will gladly survive again without.

1. Artificial Organs

The first temporary heart was tested in 1982 to keep people alive during transplants. Since post brexit there’ll be no money for the NHS anyway, artifical organs seem to be a luxury we can do without. Pah who needs ’em?

2. The Disposable Camera

Representing everything that’s wrong with the modern world, this frivolous invention hit our shelves in 1987. There’ll be no such need for easy photography in the post brexit world – afterall we don’t want anyone documenting the crimes of the authoritarian state, do we?

3. The Camcorder

First rolled out in 1982, this invention is probably responsible for more destruction of natural Britishness than any other, forcing “natural white people” to observe the behaviours of immigrants into their land. With Brexit we’ll be glad to crush all forms of recording equipment so we can go back to our monochrome irreality.

4. Prozac

This ridiculous drug came to market in 1987. As any good Brexiter knows, depression is a made up disease claimed by people who are simply too lazy to do an honest days work. There will be no need for it, or for them, in the New British Empire.

5. Music Television.

On demand pop from your TV came early on in the 80s. However we’ll cope without it. In the austere world of collapsed British Trade post Brexit, all music will be banned for fear of reminding people what joy and happiness were about

6. Nintendo Game Boy

Could there be any better expression of the ridiculous worship of all things foreign than the game boy with its faux celebration of the Italian Mario and his various companions. Such toys had an insidious impact on our culture and going forward all Heros will be British and sanctioned by the Department for Intelligence Cronyism and Knowledge.

7. The Apple MacIntosh

One of the worst technologies of the modern age, the Mac and its PC equivalents have been a pernicious threat to strong and stable British society. Much like immigrants, computers have stolen our jobs and cheapened labour. We’ll be well rid of them post brexit, and since we won’t be able to afford electricity anyway noone will be able to complain about that on Facebook.

8. The CD Player

This ridiculously unnecessary device and all subsequent music storage solutions started in 1982. Since most reactionary Brexiters are of the opinion that dancing and mirth making is anyway something disturbingly unBritish, we’ll be able to throw this horribly disruptive technology away with our taliban-esque ban of pleasure.

9. DNA  Fingerprinting

An invention from 1984, this entirely redundant technology isn’t needed in a post Brexit world since we all know crime is comitted mostly by Brown people and immigrants. With their expulsion from the UK, crime will be zero and DNA techniques can be discarded.

10. Microsoft Windows

This is a technology we will have to do without given the lack of electricity or computers in post brexit world. Annoying  because actually like the idea of a technology we can hack to observe brown people attacking our culture. So maybe we’ll find a way to bring it back. Only for white men of course.

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